October 15, 2014
Yesterday, nationally renowned speaker on drug abuse and retired DEA agent, Bob Stutman was on campus. Bob is 70 yet he approached his day with us with a vigor that many of us envy.
He spoke to the whole student body and faculty for an hour. When we invited seniors and juniors to stay for a 45 minute session with no teachers or other GC adults present, 600 students chose to do so. After that, about 450 sophomores and freshmen had time with Bob. At the end of the school day, Bob spoke with faculty about how what he heard from Good Counsel students meshed with the national high school landscape. After addressing the faculty, Bob went into his fifth meeting of the day with our Student Assistance Team. In a final evening session that went more than an hour and a half, Bob spoke to parents, sharing what he heard from our students. You see what I mean about vigor.
Bob tells the story of our nation’s drug epidemic and the alarming rate of abuse of prescription drugs. We captured his talk to parents on video and once it is ready, we will share the link.
What prompted this blog is something Bob shared from his conversations with our students. They told him just how common it was for parents to host parties that enabled drinking and drug use. Perhaps some of you who read this blog are not surprised. Bob’s comments caught my attention because the day before he came on campus I received an e-mail from a parent. I have edited the e-mail to protect his identity and include the message with his permission. Here’s what he said:
I let [my son, a GC student] go to a party this Sunday with a bunch of Good Counsel students. As usual, we asked numerous questions about who, where, what, when, etc. My wife took [our son] and talked with the hostess. She was surprised that the hostess said the party was in the basement, and she would not monitor the activities, but that she would be confiscating car keys and anyone who wanted to leave had to appear sober (I guess). The premise was apparently that “if they are going to drink, better that they do it under controlled circumstances.” Sure enough, the beer came out about 9. [Our son] has been told under no uncertain circumstances that he is to call, and get picked up. Which, bless him, he did. (I am currently getting the silent treatment!)
I think that parents who do such an outrageous thing should reminded a few facts, and I hope your speaker, or someone else can do it.
First, parents who host such a party are subject to civil or criminal prosecution for allowing minors to drink, and a substantial fine (recently in Montgomery County: $1500 PER infraction!). Criminal prosecution is for contributing to the delinquency to a minor, and can include jail time. (One woman in Charlottesville is currently doing 27 months!)
Second, getting caught is getting easier and easier. Enforcement is growing, police are more interested in being proactive, and it is getting easier to report such parties. Disgruntled ex-girlfriend/boyfriend? Someone who did not get invited? Annoyed neighbor? Just drop a dime--anonymously!
Third, there is a further and substantial legal liability that accrues to the parents. Arrested teens might sacrifice admission to certain colleges, certain scholarships, especially ROTC scholarships. Parents of arrested teens could (in my case would) bring suit, for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I think a lot of drinking goes on in such venues. Perhaps if we scared enough parents with a large financial liability we could get them to place greater emphasis on NOT drinking at all, or hosting parties that do not sanction alcohol.
The coincidence of receiving this email on one day and our students reporting the same phenomenon to Bob the next is persuasive evidence that we need to do more at home and school. A start might be by hosting alcohol-and-drug-free parties with the understanding that there will be no such thing as a “No Parent Zone” and Mom and Dad will indeed be coming down to the basement. The school can serve as a conduit for parents who wish to make known their unequivocal commitment to not having a laissez faire approach when hosting social events for teens.
Clearly, there are many challenges in meeting the school’s goal of implementing a comprehensive drug and alcohol education and prevention program and seeing it make an impact. Some specific strategies emerged in Bob’s meeting with the Student Assistance Team. I heard expressions of a real will to work to effect change from the approximately 200 parents at the evening session. Bob Stutman has helped surface the issues. It is up to us to own the hard work of addressing them.